The Doula Experience

So, we did a thing, my good sis Jenn and I. An interview that I have been wanting to bring to you mamas, for a few different reasons. Reasons being, gaining a new fresh perspective from an experienced Doula, getting an idea of the Doula experience, some uncomfortable truths within the healthcare system and how we can bring more awareness to the topic, and so much more. Let me just say, I am so excited for you mamas to get into this interview, not just because Jenn is my good sis, but because she’s knowledgeable and taps into other layers of wellness(in all aspects) in motherhood.

TAP INTO THE CONVO

WE’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THIS FOR SOME TIME NOW, AND NOW WE’RE HERE! CAN YOU SHARE WITH OUR READERS A LITTLE ABOUT YOURSELF?

Yes, we have! And I am so excited that we’re finally here. Thank you for having me. Mini introduction about myself. My name is Jennifer (Jenn), I am 29 years old, raised in Silver Spring, Maryland. I am currently a Birth and Postpartum Doula, Newborn care specialist and last but not least I am currently in school to become a Certified Professional Midwife.

WHY AND HOW DID YOU GET INTO YOUR FIELD OF WORK?

Growing up, my mother was a nanny. (Ironically enough now that I look back, she was actual a postpartum Doula without even knowing the term.) I was surrounded by infants my entire life, whether my mom was taking care of infants from home or taking me along with her on my sick days home from school. Overall I found it fascinating, I thought it was so amazing that she got to work with moms and kids all day. It was always a great time and I remember adults around me being so shocked that babies gravitated towards me with a sense of calmness. Now that I look back at it, it seemed like my instant calling.

BEFORE WE DIVE DEEPER, CAN YOU GIVE US A BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF WHAT A DOULA IS?

The thing people may not know ,is that there are different types of Doulas but the overall goal is the same. A doula is a professional labor assistant who provides physical and emotional support to you and your partner during pregnancy, childbirth, miscarriage, abortion and the postpartum period.

WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS OF HAVING A DOULA?

There are a few different benefits to having a Doula. In most cases having a Doula is having someone there to not only advocate for you, to make sure your birth is about you and what you want and believe. Having a Doula comes with exceptional physical, mental, and emotional support. A Doula’s job is not to take the place of a partner, friend or family member, but instead, we are just an extra set of loving and nurturing hands for Mama and baby. Statistically speaking it has been shown and proven that having a Doula decreases incidence of C-Sections, decreases the use of pain medication during labor, as well as decreasing the length of labor. People don’t realize how important and significant this is, to soon-to-be/ new moms. Doulas really play a huge role in women’s mental and physical health. Postpartum depression is real!

CAN YOU SHARE SOME OF THE DUTIES AND/OR SUPPORT FROM A DOULA? WHAT SHOULD MAMA EXPECT?

My duties as a Doula really vary, and I say this because each mama is different and try my best to make sure I am fulfilling each of their wishes. For instance as a labor Doula, my duties are to check in with moms weekly, check on their mental health, physical health, their diet etc. My duty is to be there with them every step of the way and make them as comfortable and prepared as can be up until delivery day. I check in with my mamas, make sure their hospital bags are packed, create a checklist of what to prepare in their bags. I help my mamas create their baby shower registry with a checklist of wants and needs. When it comes time for birth my duties are to make mamas as relaxed and comfortable as can be. Whether its soothing massage techniques, walking up and down to move baby around, running to the hospital café or home kitchen to grab a cup of ice, or something as simple as holding mamas hand, rubbing her back, and being in touch with those pressure points etc. As a postpartum Doula, I enjoy the night shifts. My duties vary as well but are typically based around the same goal, which is to care for mom and baby post labor and delivery. As a postpartum doula, I meet mom, baby and family back at home once they are released from the hospital. I am typically there overnight anywhere between 9-12hrs a night, 4-7 nights a week . During this time, I care for baby while we allow mom to get some rest (because the days can be just a long and rough as the nights with newborns. Once I arrive, I relieve mom, and baby and I have a set routine as the nights go by. My night routine consists of helping mom with anything she needs throughout the night, whether its water or helping her maneuver in and out the bed to use the restroom, grab a snack etc. It also consists of feeding (depending on moms form of feed breastfeeding or bottle feed) , changing diaper , getting baby calmly back to sleep, helping moms who pump and breast feed with pump parts, pumping and transferring milk into preserving bags and freezing for the days to come, washing and organizing bottles and parts so that when mom takes over in the morning/day time, everything can be clean and easily accessible to her as she is still recovering. Any from of support mamas need, we are there for.

HOW OFTEN SHOULD ONE EXPECT TO SEE THEIR DOULA DURING/AFTER PREGNANCY?

So this is a great question, but it all depends on the Doula and client agreement.

THE UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH IS THAT BLACK MOMS ARE TOO OFTEN NOT TAKEN SERIOUSLY BY THE HEATH CARE SYSTEM. MOST TIMES OUR CONCERNS AND REQUESTS ARE TAKEN LIGHTLY. WHY DO YOU THINK THAT IS? HOW CAN WE FIX THIS?

Ahh the uncomfortable truth. Sadly, our system is broken. This goes back to years before you and I were even thought out. This goes back to medical professionals using black women as medical experiments because they didn’t believe that black women “felt pain” . This goes back to doctors sterilizing women of color and immigrant women after medical procedures or births without their consent. So from there we were used as lab rats and I feel like it has rolled over into our everyday lives today. They may not say it openly, but they sure treat black moms/moms of color as such. It’s all within the same concept. They think we “feel” less, therefore we are tended to, and cared for with that same insensitive mindset. I think the only way to fix it is to advocate and advertise for black moms and moms of color, I think the way to fix it is to get more women of color in these medical fields and roles to where we start to recreate and rebuild for the women in our community. I feel optimistic because this is a topic that is being brought up more and discussed out into the open more, so more people are becoming publicly aware or the injustice in the system. I pray that someday we see the changes, I pray that you and I both with our roles in our community that we help create part of the change, but we must continue to bring awareness to this topic.

FROM A DOULAS PERSPECTIVE, WHY DO YOU THINK IT’S IMPERATIVE THAT WOMEN SHOULD BE MORE OPEN TO HAVING A DOULA THROUGHOUT HER PREGNANCY?

From a Doulas perspective, honestly based on all of the research, statistics and including my own personal experience as a Doula, the results of having a doula overall is helpful in so many ways. Especially mentally and physically for moms. I cannot stress it enough. This is also why I offer consultation prior to my services because I want to give mamas the chance to really hear the benefits from me and my clients experience and from there they have a choice. It’s so important to have choices in life, especially with big life experiences at hand.

HOW SHOULD ONE GO ABOUT ACCESSING A DOULA? WHAT’S THE PROCESS?

I absolutely love how much awareness and social media attention Doulas have been getting, especially since the pandemic arose. Believe it or not Doulas are super easy to access, whether one gets on social media and hashtags Doula (Doulas in your area typically pop up), I advise moms to search for Doula or Newborn care agencies near you. You’ll be surprised on how much help/care you are surrounded by within your community. I also recommend mamas to join Facebook groups for new moms, or for Doulas ( you will find yourself surrounded by women directing and guiding you in the direction for the best services )

WOULD YOU RECOMMEND MEETING/INTERVIEWING A FEW DOULAS BEFORE MAMA MAKES HER FINAL DECISION?

Yes absolutely. I personally love setting up facetime, zoom, or phone calls. with potential/soon to be clients.

WHAT MAKES AN EXPERIENCE WITH YOU (DOULA SERVICES) DIFFERENT?

I personally struggle with endometriosis and fertility issues. So I feel my approach when it comes to my services is very personal and vulnerable. I think what makes my services different is my love and respect for expecting mamas. My goal is to treat each mama with the upmost care, love and attention. As women there are many times in many rooms where we are present but feel unseen and unheard. When I provide my services to mamas. Everything is for and about them. Whether its sending them monthly prenatal vitamins to help progression along the way, ordering from Instacart/amazon anything that they are running out of at the moment so that they have one less worry, letting them know that there is no such thing “after hours” with me, I am available to them 24/7 unless I’ve communicated otherwise. Not to mention I am a black woman, so everything I do is going to be different and intentional for women in general.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SELF-CARE TIPS FOR MAMA, DURING AND AFTER PREGNANCY?

Absolutely! Mamas take care of yourself! You deserve it. My favorite saying is “you can’t pour from an empty glass”. With that being said, it is so important for Moms to make sure they put themselves first, life and being a new mom can absolutely get overwhelming. I advise mamas to have spa days, get prenatal massages, take pregnant yoga (this helps in the long run especially during labor and delivery) not to mention it just embodies your mind, body and soul. Go swimming, get your hair, nails and feet done, pamper yourself. Eat whatever you like it’s okay to have a cheat day, your body is nourishing for two. It’s okay to have days where you don’t tend to anyone but yourself. Make sure you put yourself first throughout your pregnancy and afterwards especially during postpartum. Be very intentional with your words and the energy you consume around you and baby (pre/post birth). Meditation is an amazing balance. I always advise my clients to talk to their babies outside of the belly (they can hear and feel you). Practice words of affirmation to yourself and to your baby. Spend a few minutes out of your day to just rub on and love on your belly. Same goes for after birth. Hire a daytime Doula, we have your back. Go binge watch that show, go run errands and buy that desert you’ve been hesitating to eat since you’ve had the baby because you’re worried about what or how others will view you. Remember this is your body, it’s creating this beautiful form of life. You are everything that you need, so make sure you’re happy. You are beautiful, so is your body! You’ll be going through extreme changes, embrace it! I am also a firm believer in postpartum counseling. I find this critically important after birth. Not just an ordinary 6 week check up, but a constant mental and physical check up.

FOR THOSE WANTING TO INQUIRE MORE OF YOUR OFFERINGS AND SERVICES, WHERE CAN THEY REACH YOU?

I have been slacking on updating a website but for now, I can be found on Instagram @Jennladoula or via email: Jenndadoula@gmail.com